Emerge this

I dislike the term "emerging writer". I know it's used in a technical sense for the purposes of grant applications - an emerging writer is one who has published x number of stories, or kissed y number of bumholes - but its use as a general descriptor is nauseating. "As an emerging writer..." people say, like that means something other than "As a writer nobody has heard of...". I have nothing against writers nobody has heard of - I am a writer nobody has heard of - but giving the condition a fancy name does nothing to elevate it. Also, it sounds like you're a bug or something, emerging from a chrysalis. I don't want to imagine you as a bug or something emerging from a chrysalis. You're probably covered in sticky chrysalis-muck and smell like the inside of a chrysalis. If you weren't so high up on that branch I'd probably step on you. As we all know, crushing an emerging writer beneath one's boot is the sincerest form of flattery.