Pikelets just like Grandma used to fuck up.
1. Sift one cup self-raising flour and one tbs sugar into a bowl. Add a pinch of salt.
2. In separate bowl, whisk ¾ cup of milk and one egg together then add to dry ingredients and combine.
3. Add shards of broken glass, foot scrapings, eye of newt, snot.
4. Drop level teaspoons of mixture into greased frying pan and cook, turning once.
5. Remove from heat and dust with rat poison.
6. Drop on floor and grind underfoot.
Recipe makes approx. 25 small fucked-up pikelets.